First Day of School

Yeah!!!! Today is my first day of school. :)

Thank God for the opportunity to be able to study again.

Quite excited about it. Even wanted to go and buy new stationery.

Hahaha felt like a little girl all over again. :p

Hmmm my text book is quite thick, about 20 chapters.

I wonder how is the lecturer going to finish in 2 lesson of 3 hrs

I shall see later :)

Getting ready for school!!

The Bomb Had Been Dropped.....

Once again, the door had been slammed right in my face.
I am not selected for the post at my hq.
Which means no office hours for me.

I asked God,"WHY???!?!?!?!" I don't understand.
Its a disappointment I have to deal with.
I am tired of having to fight for my shift so that i can make it for cell.
At times I just feel like giving up fight.

I know that I should rejoice even when things are not going my way.
His ways are much higher than mine.
But I do not know how much more can I take it.
Do I really have to strength to be like Paul???

To ride or not to ride?????

This morning even before i was fully awake, I received news that one of my colleague
had an accident the night before. He was riding, on his way to pick up his wife
when he crashed head on with a taxi. At first I heard that he is unconsicous,
next I heard that he is in ICU, then I heard that his brain is dead.

When I reach TTSH, I was informed that a 2nd opioion was sought and the doctor
also said that his brain is dead and the chances of recovery is almost zero.
And he is fully supported by the life machine. Just a touch of the switch and he is gone.
I was telling myself that when I go into the ward, I will pray for him.
When I saw the state that he was in, with all the tube plug into him, my mind went blank.
Just 24 hrs ago he was smiling and joking. But now he is lying there motionless.

It took me a few hours to get over the shock and to pray for him.
It will really take a miracle. And i don't even know how to pray for him.....

God's Grace felt :)

The past week had being quite a disaster.
People trying to test my patience by waking me up from my sleep,
questioning my walk with God and making me feel unworthy by
saying that its ok to let me fall from the rope as my existence
would not matter.
Well that's what happened when you pray for patience.

When I reached church for pre-cell prayer,
I was kinda sad that only a few of the cell turned up.
However during worship, when we start to sing of
God's goodness, I felt His Grace...
It was sooo real..I started to cry and reach out to Him.
I have done nothing to deserve His love but He had love
me first even when I am a sinner. He sent His son to die for me.
It was a feeling that I am unable to describe.
God is real and He is definitely doing something in my life.
No matter how someone question my faith or make me feel unworthy,
I know that in God's eyes no one is unworthy, there is no condemnation
and I am called for His purpose.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

The Past :(

Got woken up this morning by a call. :(
A call from the past... The first thing he said was
can i ask you out sometime this week??
In my mind i was thinking,Here it goes again...
Everything was just like how it was.
He started to say that he dun understand how i get to
this decision and it was a selfish thing to do.
I started to justify my decision and then realised that
it does not help but just make things worst.
In the end we end up arguing AS USUAL...
sigh what is new??
After I end the conservation, I broke down...
I do not know what to do...but can only pray and leave it in God's hand